It's Ms. Shock if you're nasty!

An introduction: I live in New York City. I am currently trying to sell a screenplay and a pilot. When I'm not schlepping my talent all over the city I work as a real estate broker to pay the rent.

Yes, that's my real name. People think I made it up or that it's a pen name. I was called Shock The Monkey all through elementary school so trust me, Shock is not a name you are proud of until you reach your late twenties. As far as Stefani goes, it's pronounced Stephanie but my parents wanted to cut the time it would take to teach me how to spell it. I'm not kidding.

I am single. Let your excitement begin. You're thinking "She's single? How?" I don't know how but I'm sure I'll eventually write all about it and get compared to Carrie Bradshaw. However, my NYC dating stories would put hers to shame. Let's see, I left a date halfway through it while he wasn't looking and I told someone he's his very own cock-blocker. That was eight months ago and I'm still ignoring his emails.

I'm from Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Don't ask me about the movie Grosse Pointe Blank. It was a mediocre picture and John Cusack (past the age of 35) blows.

I went to the University of Northern Colorado. You've never heard of it. I have various reasons for choosing an ambiguous college. Having bad grades through high school being the top of the list. I'm not ashamed of going to some random school but whenever I tell people in Manhattan where I went they always give me the same -a unicorn just jumped out of your ass- expression.

Immediately after college I moved to an equally pointless place called Chicago. Within five minutes of my arrival I thought -get me the fuck out of here before I shit buffalo wings for the rest of my life-. However, I did have one of the best jobs a gal could ask for. I hosted in the VIP boxes at Wrigley Field. It was also the job that funded my move to NYC, the best amusement park in the world.

I've been here seven years and I love it so much it's all I want to write about. But since it's been said you shouldn't live here unless you're lucky I wouldn't recommend packing up the Uhaul just yet. Based on my love life whether I'm lucky or not is yet to be determined.

Love-Shock