I Bit The Bullet and Bought An Air Conditioner So I Could Fight This Mother Fucker Who's Currently Blowing Through NYC

I'm not a fan of the ugly loud box you stick in your window and have managed to get by for quite some time without one but alas, in this current heatwave, I don't have much of a choice. After two sleepless nights laying next to a fan that was blowing hot air on me, I have finally bought an ac unit. You can now welcome me to the 21st century.

The Year Of Living Dirty

Actually, its been every year since the beginning of time but this is the year where almost every man in a position of power was caught with their pants down. I'm on the fence with regards to Al Gore and the masseuse. She sold her story to The Enquirer which is a little suspect. However, any man paying over $500 to have a rubdown in a hotel room probably has some pretty high expectations.

Other countries must think us Americans are pretty silly. A majority of the planet view cheating as the spice of life; a politician that doesn't cheat lacks passion and therefore is not an ideal leader. The Chinese apparently think that cheating politicians are demons with fire in their eyes...literally. Check out the video above.

Cerebral Tease

Sofia Coppola is back at it again. After flack for Marie Antoinette (misunderstood) she returns to old form with another coming-into-ones-own film on par with Lost In Translation. I'm loving this trailer for a couple reasons. Stephen Dorff is apparently getting a comeback and "I'll Try Anything Once" performed in the background---Julian Casablancas lives on.

I've always been a fan of the no-dialogue trailer. Little Children won a Golden Trailer award for this very reason. I'm sure you've seen the opposite..."let's tell the whole damn story for the audience so they don't have to go to the movie to figure it out for themselves" trailers. I'm a trailer junkie so you need to trust me on this...LESS Information, MORE Audience!

Too Old To Wear A Onesie

I celebrated my birthday last week. I am, well...one year older than I was last year. I usually have some kind of physical reaction the week of my birthday but this time around, it sailed past with nary a sign of its existence other than a big party followed by dinner with my closest friends and then another big party. How can you pout about getting old when your birthday was so awesome, right?

While shopping the other day I used the words "I'm too old to wear that" to a very sweet sales attendant at an East Village boutique. She asked me to try on a romper. Rompers have always looked like a diaper sewn to your t-shirt but the new silk ones are pretty cute and if you had legs like mine, you'd wear one too. I digress, because the point of the story is...it doesn't matter how good you look in a romper, if you're my age, you shouldn't be wearing one. Of course the attendant said "Too old? What are you talking about? That's like stupid." Some people think I look younger then I actually am. I wasn't about to tell this 16 year old she's trying to put a diaper on someone who's old enough to be her...older sister.

So, onwards and upwards I say. I have chosen to embrace my age (that doesn't mean I have to share it with you) and enjoy what little time we have on this planet. I'll be doing that in appropriate attire.

If You Know This Man...

I want an introduction post-haste. I seriously want to be friends with this guy. He not only rocks the mini-piano but also rocks the government issue eye-wear and the free hat. Take a break from your stressful day and press play.

No Longer A Brace-Face

An angry German who's been treating my mouth like it's a broken car for the past year, yanked the braces off my teeth today. This is what I look like now...

Viagra For EVERYONE

My gmail account was hacked into this morning and everyone I've ever sent an email to woke up to me encouraging them to purchase Viagra. That's funny when it's your friends, your mom and your enemies. It's not funny when it's your your ex-boyfriends, your dad and your employer.

Biting Into An Onion

New York City wasn't supposed to be the big apple. It was supposed to be the big onion but some guy changed that and now this cold-hearted city is named after a sweet red fruit when it should be named after a vegetable riddled with layers, delicious when sauteed in butta and makes you tear up when you cut into it. That's New York.

I moved to NYC almost ten years ago and many would say I'm almost a New Yorker. The plan was to be an actress. Not that I was completely hell bent on this purpose, but I was convinced I wasn't smart enough to do anything else. Here I am, nine years later, a successful (at least by my definition) real estate broker in one of the most cutthroat cities in the world for this profession and I wouldn't have it any other way. You'd never know I was making plans to move out of this town a year ago. I wanted to leave because I couldn't figure out the difference between wanting and expecting. I have come to realize that want can take you almost anywhere and expecting will most likely lead you to disappointment...in my mind the worst of emotions.

I signed a lease on an adorable apartment in Williamsburg. It's not what I had expected but as of late, it is definitely what I want. And now I find myself close to that high one gets when they first move to this God forsaken city. The high we all chase because after living through a razor-blade cold winter, cop cars driving into you while crossing Third Ave and going into debt in hopes of a comeback, there has to be a reason to stick around.

Worshipping At The Altar Hamm

All you single ladies (and taken ladies) know what I'm talking about when I say DAMN I want me some Hamm. The first time I saw Mad Men my hunger for Hamm was insatiable. But when he winds up trumping Baldwin and Walken as one of the all time great SNL hosts, I can't get him out of my mind. Of course, any woman whose been dating artists her whole life gets weak in the pelvis when a man wears a suit and that Hamm can wear a suit. I'd give my left ovary for a John Hamm bobble head just so I can watch him nod yes, Stefani, yes.

Am I The Only One...

Who confuses Jason Sudeikis(SNL) with Ed Helms(The Office)?