Cerebral Tease

Sofia Coppola is back at it again. After flack for Marie Antoinette (misunderstood) she returns to old form with another coming-into-ones-own film on par with Lost In Translation. I'm loving this trailer for a couple reasons. Stephen Dorff is apparently getting a comeback and "I'll Try Anything Once" performed in the background---Julian Casablancas lives on.

I've always been a fan of the no-dialogue trailer. Little Children won a Golden Trailer award for this very reason. I'm sure you've seen the opposite..."let's tell the whole damn story for the audience so they don't have to go to the movie to figure it out for themselves" trailers. I'm a trailer junkie so you need to trust me on this...LESS Information, MORE Audience!

Too Old To Wear A Onesie

I celebrated my birthday last week. I am, well...one year older than I was last year. I usually have some kind of physical reaction the week of my birthday but this time around, it sailed past with nary a sign of its existence other than a big party followed by dinner with my closest friends and then another big party. How can you pout about getting old when your birthday was so awesome, right?

While shopping the other day I used the words "I'm too old to wear that" to a very sweet sales attendant at an East Village boutique. She asked me to try on a romper. Rompers have always looked like a diaper sewn to your t-shirt but the new silk ones are pretty cute and if you had legs like mine, you'd wear one too. I digress, because the point of the story is...it doesn't matter how good you look in a romper, if you're my age, you shouldn't be wearing one. Of course the attendant said "Too old? What are you talking about? That's like stupid." Some people think I look younger then I actually am. I wasn't about to tell this 16 year old she's trying to put a diaper on someone who's old enough to be her...older sister.

So, onwards and upwards I say. I have chosen to embrace my age (that doesn't mean I have to share it with you) and enjoy what little time we have on this planet. I'll be doing that in appropriate attire.

If You Know This Man...

I want an introduction post-haste. I seriously want to be friends with this guy. He not only rocks the mini-piano but also rocks the government issue eye-wear and the free hat. Take a break from your stressful day and press play.

No Longer A Brace-Face

An angry German who's been treating my mouth like it's a broken car for the past year, yanked the braces off my teeth today. This is what I look like now...

Viagra For EVERYONE

My gmail account was hacked into this morning and everyone I've ever sent an email to woke up to me encouraging them to purchase Viagra. That's funny when it's your friends, your mom and your enemies. It's not funny when it's your your ex-boyfriends, your dad and your employer.

Biting Into An Onion

New York City wasn't supposed to be the big apple. It was supposed to be the big onion but some guy changed that and now this cold-hearted city is named after a sweet red fruit when it should be named after a vegetable riddled with layers, delicious when sauteed in butta and makes you tear up when you cut into it. That's New York.

I moved to NYC almost ten years ago and many would say I'm almost a New Yorker. The plan was to be an actress. Not that I was completely hell bent on this purpose, but I was convinced I wasn't smart enough to do anything else. Here I am, nine years later, a successful (at least by my definition) real estate broker in one of the most cutthroat cities in the world for this profession and I wouldn't have it any other way. You'd never know I was making plans to move out of this town a year ago. I wanted to leave because I couldn't figure out the difference between wanting and expecting. I have come to realize that want can take you almost anywhere and expecting will most likely lead you to disappointment...in my mind the worst of emotions.

I signed a lease on an adorable apartment in Williamsburg. It's not what I had expected but as of late, it is definitely what I want. And now I find myself close to that high one gets when they first move to this God forsaken city. The high we all chase because after living through a razor-blade cold winter, cop cars driving into you while crossing Third Ave and going into debt in hopes of a comeback, there has to be a reason to stick around.

Worshipping At The Altar Hamm

All you single ladies (and taken ladies) know what I'm talking about when I say DAMN I want me some Hamm. The first time I saw Mad Men my hunger for Hamm was insatiable. But when he winds up trumping Baldwin and Walken as one of the all time great SNL hosts, I can't get him out of my mind. Of course, any woman whose been dating artists her whole life gets weak in the pelvis when a man wears a suit and that Hamm can wear a suit. I'd give my left ovary for a John Hamm bobble head just so I can watch him nod yes, Stefani, yes.

Am I The Only One...

Who confuses Jason Sudeikis(SNL) with Ed Helms(The Office)?

!!!!! I Ran The NYC Marathon In Heels !!!!!

For ten seconds of my life I got to run in the NYC Marathon. With absolutely no training and the fuel of one bagel with scallion cream cheese, I ran one block of the marathon while it was making it's way through Brooklyn and I was making my way to work. I didn't place. Hell, I didn't even get winded. No need to send congrats. I know I'm a winner regardless.

Buying Property On Shit's Creek

Are you without a paddle? Without a job? Without a penny? Because I got some property for you and nearly 75% of this country is going into debt paying for it.

That's pretty much what Michael Moore dishes out to his audience in Capitalism: A Love Story. I recommend everyone on the verge of losing their home see this movie. And anyone who doesn't have a job. And anyone living in Michigan. Hell...anyone.

I went to the premiere and though I was not completely surprised by the rage and fear capitalism has brought to this country, I did learn a lot about it's origins. I learned that Ronald Reagan was a douche bag and the first president to open the corporate floodgate into Washington. I learned about a disturbing (and oddly legal) clause called Dead Peasants. I learned what it's like to be inside a home when a family is kicked out due to foreclosure.

Unfortunately, no enlightenment whether the government and the banking system will pay for what they've done. THAT has to be the most disturbing portion of the movie; the unanswered question of accountability. Aside from yacht shrinkage, the people who put you and your future children up shit's creek will hardly be effected by this. Especially since all of us bailed them out.